So you may have noticed a little gap between the previous post and this one. Sometimes life takes you to some wacky places, wackier even than the Alaskan hangar in Stealth. In the case of TNFLMN, we simply realized one day that we might have endangered our brains for the long term by exposing them to such copious levels of lousy. Some of us still wake from our sleep in a cold sweat, seized by awful memories of James Earl Jones dressed as an Egyptian pharaoh with perfectly trimmed bangs.
Thus we took a break—a very, very long break. Sure, there were a handful of crummy films sprinkled throughout the Era of Recovery. But overall we felt we had suffered enough for the greater good. However, time heals most wounds, and a vague sense of nostalgia has now replaced the angst of old. Thanks to the efforts of one Mark J, we were able to dig up the remains of the old LMN site, and I set about piecing its old body parts together and reviving it once more. Consider this website the Frankenfish of lousy movie websites.
Will we put ourselves in harm’s way once more and post fresh reviews of rotten films? That remains a mystery, dear reader, but with a little bit of hope, anything is possible. That’s a lesson I learned from Barry Pepper in Battlefield Earth, and I believe it with all my heart.
Street Fighter features Jean-Claude Van Damme as Guile. Guile is American—even has a tattoo of the American flag on his arm. Van Damme has a thick French accent. And this is only the beginning of our problems. Raul Julia makes his ill-fated final acting appearance as M. Bison, a raging lunatic who bases his world-dominating schemes out of a half-finished movie set and wears a gigantic hat and gigantic pants. Also he can launch himself towards you while suspended from a wire, but he only travels fast enough to bump into those with sloth-like reflexes, such as Guile.